There are women that
become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and
though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be
better.
I will be better not
because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books, but because I
have struggled and toiled for this child. I have sat in the NICU and waited. I
have cried and prayed.I have endured.
Like most things in
life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to
attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to
watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at my surviving
miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when
I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can
comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to an alarm going off,
another round of meds or because I am crying tears for fear of the unknown. I
will be happy because my baby is alive and crying out for me.
I count myself lucky
in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with
which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a
preemie with physical challleges or medical issues, I will not be careless with
my love.
I will be a better
mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better
daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know
disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.I have been tried by
fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I
have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others
hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself
discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I
cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense
power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they
learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a
compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to
appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a
wonderful mother.
Author Unknown
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